I have been Sarah from the Oh Wells since I was sixteen. I formed the band with my best friend in high school. We had these big ideas of what our future together would look like… we were going to move to France, open a bakery, get pregnant at a really young age (weird, I know, but the movie Juno had just come out), and become famous musicians/cupcake artists. My high school friend left the band years ago, but those silly dreams (and the silly girls dreaming them) are still what comes to my mind when I think of the name The Oh Wells. Recently, I started feeling strange about working on a project that was constantly making me look backwards.
I want to tell you that that’s the only reason I decided to put The Oh Wells aside. I want to tell you that it had nothing to do with something as trivial as a romantic relationship. But hey, I’m a singer/songwriter. We constantly fall in and out of love in the most dramatic ways, as Taylor Swift has so proficiently demonstrated over the past few years.
Truthfully, I fell crazy-stalker-in-love with one of the guitarists who had joined the band in 2013. He seemed to like me back, at least a little, and my dopamine flooded brain took his mild feelings and ran with them. I decided this guitarist was the best thing that had ever happened to the band, and music in general. I wondered what I had ever done without him. Eventually he cracked under the pressure of being my saviour and politely requested that we stop seeing each other. Maybe if I was Gwen Stefani I could have held it together, but as I am merely a human being, I was not able to play in a band with someone who broke my heart. I asked the band if we could take a break. I spent the next three months mostly sleeping. The heart break had gloriously bad timing... I was changing medication (always a bumpy ride) and not in my right mind. And I continued to look backwards, back to when I was in love with that guitarist, back to when I had silly dreams in high school, back back back.
I’m going to try looking forwards. I don’t really feel like Sarah from The Oh Wells right now. I feel like someone new, I’m not sure who exactly, but I’m going to find out.
This song was the first one I wrote after the guitarist in question left. It was inspired by a text message my friend sent me. "So what if you're crazy! He was your friend. You needed him," she said, "and he let you down."